Birthdays

Tomorrow is my birthday, so it’s only natural that I’ve been thinking about birthdays a lot this week.  That whole ‘getting older’ thing, is part of the pros and cons of having a birthday, isn’t it?   I think birthdays are also a significant time for many people to re-evaluate where they are in their lives, whether they’re happy with the choices they’ve made over the years, whether they’ve reached the goals that they set out to attain, and that sort of thing.  I suspect a lot of people review their bucket lists on their birthdays because each birthday reminds us that we’re that much closer to the inevitable.

In our family, I have always tried to make birthdays special for the honouree.  I ask what they would like to have for their special supper, what kind of cake they would like, what they would like for a gift, and what they would like to do for fun like go to a movie or play mini-golf.  It’s their day.   If they want peanut butter and jam sandwiches, we all eat peanut butter and jam sandwiches (this is an exaggeration of course), but the idea is that that is the day that regardless of whether or not we all crave or even like the meal that they want to eat, they get to pick and we can’t complain.  The birthday celebrations are not about pleasing anyone else.  We do this because we love them and because we know that when it is our birthday our wishes will be accommodated as well, or at least that’s the theory.  While it’s not always possible to get and do everything they’d like, the effort is made to make it as pleasant a day as possible, eliminating or minimizing as many of the things in life that stress them, to make them happy on their special day because none of us know for certain whether there will ever be another birthday to be celebrated with that person.

As my children have grown older and have paired off, I pass that role to their partners, making sure that they know of course that I’m willing to help if they want me to.  It’s not my place any longer to determine how the festivities are conducted, and I happily accept that.   I trust that their partners will take on the role of ‘birthday wish fairy’ or whatever you’d like to call it, and make their birthdays special, and that they will make my children a priority on their birthdays because they love them.

Times have changed with birthday celebrations since I was a kid.  I remember how everyone would give you your birthday spanking – even elementary school teachers!  Today that would probably be considered assault!  :-)  And, we used to wrap coins in wax paper and put them in the cake.  Now that is probably considered a choking hazard!  It seems now that a child’s birthday has to be a big affair with rented bouncy castles, massive catered parties and mounds of presents.  I don’t even think there were such things as bouncy castles when I was a kid!  Geez, that probably makes me sound ancient!

I remember the year that I got my hamster for my birthday.  I was SO excited to get her.  One year I got a copy of ‘Little Women’ for my birthday.  I think it was my 7th birthday.  I still have that book, and I think I appreciate the story now more than I did back then.

There are numerous cultural and religious traditions associated with birthdays like bar mitzvahs and Indian thread ceremonies, and some birthdays of famous and influential people are annually acknowledge as public holidays.  If you’re interested there is a lot of information online about different birthday customs and cultures.

In the meantime, I am re-evaluating and reviewing my bucket list, and wondering what memories I will take away from this birthday.  I will let you know if I reach any significant conclusions.